My college friend Jenners has a terrific blog called Life With a Little One and More.... Right now she has a contest going called Bad Writing. Even though I'm a librarian, I wasn't a bookwork or writer as a kid. I shied away from history and English classes and much preferred math and science. I wanted a right answer, not my interpretation of some major world historical event or storyline of a classic piece of literature. How could my thoughts be anywhere near correct or even interesting? I was 16 years old and most of my intelligent brain cells were occupied with weekend plans and getting concert tickets. One time my sister and I waited more than 24 hours (yes, we slept on the sidewalk) to buy Springsteen tickets and all we walked away with was a shoe. Who waits in line for concert tickets and then goes home wearing one shoe? To add insult to injury, it wasn't even our size. See, I just got totally off track. I rest my case.
For the contest you have to write a really bad opening sentence for a fake book. Bad Writing is write up my alley! ha ha! The novel can be any genre. Hmmm. Here goes:
- I sat at my computer, willing my brain to come up with an awful sentence, yet nothing came. --From: How I Lost a Writing Contest, But Gained Some Free Time
- I sat down to the dinner table, not really hungry, but there was food in front of me, so I ate anyway. --From: Food: Take It, Never Leave It.
- There are days when I think to myself, "Is this really my life? How did I get to this exact spot? Where were the major turning points?", but this morning I thought, "Plain or peanut?" --From: Life Truly is a Box of Chocolates
- She gazed at her daughter, an image of herself at a younger age, stroked her long, chestnut hair and asked, "When was the last time you took a shower?" --From: Unhidden Thoughts
- An owl swooped through the dark night and delivered a letter to a boy that lived under the stairs, but this book isn't about that boy. --From: Cousin Dudley and the Kidney Stone
- In the beginning there was Bob and Bob begat Michael and Michael begat Aidan. --From: Biblical Beginnings, My Short Family History
